It’s official. I’m now a candidate for the English graduate program at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I met with the graduate chair of the English department earlier today and learned the specifics of my next steps. I filled out the online application and signed up to take the Miller Analogy Test (MAT) on Nov. 13. I’m told the MAT is much easier (and cheaper) than the more common GRE. I must score at least a 40 (out of a possible 100) to enter the program. Although I’m allergic to most standardized exams, my professor tells me I’ll do OK. (Let’s keep our fingers crossed, just in case.) If all goes well, I’ll begin classes in January.

I must say, it was a fantastic, glowing feeling to walk around campus again. I believe it was more than a coincidence that the students are on fall break and campus was void of anyone under 30, giving me an uncluttered view of my academic future. The weather was gorgeous, the trees were changing and it appears the Arts and Sciences building received a little facelift on the inside since I was last there. I actually got goosebumps and developed an uncontrollable grin when I opened the massive doors on the building’s north side. Ah, the smell of knowledge is a good one. To be bookish. To be scholarly. To be challenged.

I spent a good hour Saturday night walking around the UNO campus. It was dark, quiet, reflective. I hadn’t walked the campus for so long and while my solo footsteps echoed off the buildings, I had an epiphany. I think one of my reasons for returning to school is due to how I felt as a college student. I certainly was overflowing with angst and longing as an undergrad, and some of my favorite classes — 20th Century Fiction and Reading a Woman’s Life — helped me understand those feelings. I felt not passive, but active; almost as if I was working to embrace what I was going through and understand what I was feeling.

After graduating from college more than a year ago, those feelings, perhaps surprisingly, remain today. I thought I’d feel different. I thought I’d feel perhaps more in control. I thought the angst and longing would subside. And I guess they have, to an extent, but my angst and longing are directed at other things…or, the lack of things.

So what’s the point of all this babble? It’s simple: Going back to school as a grad student, spending time in classes, reading, researching and writing will help me better understand my feelings today, less than two months away from turning 25. That’s not my only reason for grad school, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a factor.

I want to understand who I am and who I will become as I continually evolve as an, ahem, adult. We’ll see what happens. I’m excited, and can’t wait for it all to begin. Again.

I can’t believe how wonderful my new haircut looks. Not to sound snobby and self-centered, but it looks great; better than I ever imagined. It’s much shorter, something akin to Halley Berry before she let it grow out and get shaggy. I shampoo in the morning, let it air dry and apply a bit of beeswax (something new to my hair), and voila! It’s chic, curly, short and sexy, all at the same time.

My new ‘do makes me happy and feel very pretty, very girly.

Earlier this week, Apple Computer announced the release of iTunes for the Windows platform. (Good news for those who love Bill Gates; you’ll be cool like us!) Along with the new software, Apple released new software for the iPod, its sleek, MP3 player. Part of the software includes a Music Quiz.

From the folks at iPoding:

The new 2.1 iPod firmware includes a very cool new game: “Music Quiz”. You’re presented with a list of 5 songs and have 10 seconds to identify which of the 5 songs is playing. As the timer goes down choices are gradually removed. Your score depends on how quickly you identify the correct song (the timer starts at 1000 points and counts down to 0).

A brief update from my post much earlier in the day: It’s around 7:30 p.m. I can BARELY keep my eyes open. This isn’t fun. I want to read tonight (“Night Whispers” by Judith McNaught), work on my Web site (www.shaggy-money.flywheelsites.com) and maybe flip through the latest issue of Rolling Stone. But I don’t think that’ll happen.

Sigh.

I don’t know what the hell my problem is. For the past week, I’ve been dead-ass tired around 8:30 p.m. Then, I awake, feeling fully rested around 4:30 a.m. and am up for the remainder of the day. What gives?

Can you read the following?

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Read more about what Cambridge University discovered by clicking here.

It’s not even 5:15 a.m., and I’ve already scarfed down two pieces of peanut butter and toast, plus a towering glass of skim milk. I’ve been awake for a little while, but that’s OK. The early morning hours – long before dawn – is my favorite part of the day. It’s true that in college, it was the late hours I loved most. Listening to music while working well past 1 a.m. was the best. The world was asleep, but I was awake. But now? Now, I couldn’t stay up that late even if I tried. Perhaps I’m just getting old, or maybe my mind/body has gone through a change. Who knows? Better yet, who cares?

And speaking of college, I’m meeting with the graduate chair of the English Department at UNO next week to discuss grad school. I’m excited! Yippee!

Just when you thought it was safe to shop in public again…

I always thought my big mouth got me in trouble. Oh, the number of times I opened my mouth and, inevitably, blurted out precisely the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time. I learned yesterday, however, that sometimes it’s worse to not say the right thing at the right time than to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Rather than speak up early and lay it all out, I allowed the hours of silence to march on, giving my stomach one of the worst feelings in the world. Ick. Thankfully, four hours later, I wised up and said the right thing, albeit a little too late.

***

In other, less emotional news, I’m now considering a master’s degree in English. From what I hear, the M.A. in Communication at UNO is more about theory and less about writing. I love books and grow giddy at the thought of reading, studying and writing about books and the English language. I plan to meet with the graduate chair of the English Department at UNO to discuss the details. Wish me luck.

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From “Life’s Little Instruction Book”

No. 60: Admit your mistakes.
No. 173: Be kinder than necessary.
No. 201: Don’t carry a grudge.
No. 213: Don’t waist time grieving over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on.
No. 252: Take good care of those you love.