A writer died, and due to a bureaucratic snafu in the hereafter, she was to be allowed to choose her own fate: heaven or hell for all eternity.

Being very shrewd for a dead person, she asked St. Peter for a tour of both.

The first stop was hell, where she saw rows and rows of writers sitting chained to desks, in a room as hot as a thousand suns. Fire licked the writers’ fingers as they tried to work; demons whipped their backs with chains.

It was your typical hell scene.

“Wow, this is awful,” said the writer, appalled. “Let’s see some heaven.”

In a moment, they were whisked to heaven and the writer saw rows and rows of writers chained to desks, in a room as hot as a thousand suns. Fire licked the writers’ fingers as they tried to work; demons whipped their backs with chains. It looked and smelled even worse than hell.

“What gives, Pete?” the writer asked. “This is worse than hell!”

“Yes,” St. Peter replied, “but here your work gets published.”

# # #

• 05:55 Females display ridiculous levels bravery in horror movies but are terrified of spiders and snakes. #
• 05:57 AM and nonprofit radio are my friends; make them yours, too. #

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• 15:44 While vacationing in Jamaica last month I learned Wendy is a popular name there. Who knew? #
• 15:47 A funny music video about life in Nebraska, featuring my boyfriend reading on the toilet: tinyurl.com/2yrafk #
• 15:58 Class in t-minus 90 minutes. Homework: done. #

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Many thanks to my sister for sharing this Q&A with me, which originated from Bernard Pivot via James Lipton of “Inside the Actors Studio.”

What sound or noise do you love?
– Matt strumming his guitar in the basement.

What sound or noise do you hate?
– The TV still on when I get home.

What is your favorite word?
– Honestly.

What is your least favorite word?
– Disaster.

What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?
– Owner of a corner bakery.

What profession, other than your own, would you not like to attempt?
– Anything that involves math.

What is your favorite curse word?
– Criminetly.

What would you like God to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
– We’re happy you’re here.

# # #

• 11:25 Hoping The Boyfriend doesn’t pass along his nasty strain of the flu. #

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• 06:44 Celebrated a 50-plus-degree day yesterday … in January … in Nebraska. A miracle, indeed. #

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• 14:36 Somewhere near Kearney, Nebraska, on the way back to Omaha. #

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• 21:17 Setting up my new MacBook, thanks to Chris Machian and Steve Jobs. #
• 05:56 I’ve been awake since 4:30 a.m. playing with my new MacBook. Something tells me I’ll pay for this decision later today. #

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My thanks to musician Kyle Harvey for preparing me a Flaming Cowboy at the Barley Street Tavern in Benson earlier this week.

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Kyle Harvey, originally uploaded by wendytownley.

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